Admission Essays: The Good, The Bad, and The Embarrassing

I love this topic, because personal statements are my favorite part of reviewing a student's application. Sure, it's fun to look at a transcript and piece together a "high school story" from the grades and activities listed (I always feel like Sherlock Holmes when I do that...the one from BBC, not the bromantic Holmes from the awful sequel with Jude Law), but I do prefer reading the personal statement for two reasons: 

The really good essays, and the really bad essays.

Read on for examples of each.

5 Things NOT to Consider During Your College Search

The search for a college can be stressful, terrifying, and confusing—but most of life's truly rewarding events are. The biggest mistake you can make while searching for a college is to become overwhelmed and give up. Neither of us wants to run into each other at a drive-thru, right?

So, above all, remember to persevere and keep the following "don'ts" in mind:

Email Etiquette is as Neglected as Sun Block on the Jersey Shore

Photo of Nikki's awfulsome attire from Sodahead.com

In Pt. 1, "The Problem," I detailed the decay of electronic communication, which is nearly as advanced as the decay of Nikki Menaj's fashion sense. If you read that post, you may have gleaned that while reclaiming the electronically-written word is a personal crusade of mine, it's also a pretty big deal when it comes to college admission (and, subsequently, the rest of your life).


Never let it be said that I was the type to present a problem without offering a solution. In fact, I offer 10. 


So, without further ado I present Pt. 2, "The Solution."

Call Me a Curmudgeon, But Email Etiquette Is Suffering From Stage Four Neglect

Part 1: The Problem

Appreciation of the power of the written (or texted, "tweeted," updated, emailed, or "Skyped") word, and also of the permanency of electronic communication is vital to one's social survival in the 21st century. 


It is also vital to your college admission prospects.


I have received so many egregious abuses of email correspondence from prospective students that I felt compelled to offer some friendly advice. Hopefully it will save you from some embarrassment (and me from developing an ulcer).


Some choice examples can be found at the bottom of this post (or you can skip to "Pt. 2: The Solution" if you already recognize your faults and don't care to read my diatribe).

Ten Ways To Ensure You Will NEVER Be Admitted To College

http://writing.wikinut.com/img/2188z727cx43bs.l/Rejection-stamp

Do you delight in defeat? Are you a "winner" only as defined by Charlie Sheen? Are you applying to college simply to pile more rejection onto your life-long resume of regret?


If so, this post is for you. 


(If you're one of those do-good-ers who actually wants to attend college, you should probably avoid doing anything on this list. It won't do you any favors.) 


How NOT to be admitted to college, after the jump:

How To Get The Most Out Of Your College Search

http://dianasaurdishes.com/02/epic-turkey-pesto-sandwich/

Smell that in the air? It smells like recruitment season (and also, incidentally, a lot like the turkey sandwich I just had for lunch).

Unless you work in the admission office of a college, you probably don't call this time of year recruitment season. In fact, you probably don't call it anything—except maybe, "the time T.V. gets good again," "football season," or, logically, "fall."

Still, you're probably noticing slight changes in your daily routine. Your school is likely being invaded by hordes of peppy admission counselors (like yours truly), your AVID and AP English teachers are probably making you write your seventeenth draft of your personal statements, and your parents are surely starting to get that wide-eyed, "college-is-going-to-cost-what??!?" look.

It's like Christmas, without the presents.

The whole process can be a little daunting. After all, how are you expected to wade through the thousands of colleges out there to pick just one? And, even if you do choose one, how do you know for sure that it's the right fit, especially considering (if you're like the majority of high school seniors) that you're  not even entirely sure what you want to study yet?

We're here to help.

Dude, I Was At Testing Before It Was Cool...

Wayfarer Sunglasses, NBA Jam, Robert Downey Jr.—some things are so awesome that they simply must make a comeback. Take our testing and registration days: life a thief in the night they came and went. Those that caught the testing train were happy, secure, and ready to rock higher ed like a sampled techno beat. However, far too many were left untested, unregistered, and completely at the mercy of capricious "auto-scheduling."

Marymount College Memes! Create your own!

Absolute gem from new student Charlie W.

A meme—for those of you who aren't surgically connected to your computer's hard drive—is defined as: "an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture."

Within the wild west of the World Wide Web, memes are rampant. Think "Cute Kittens," "Dramatic Chipmunk," Old Spice commercials, "FAIL" and "WIN," "Demotivational Posters," Rebecca Black, etc.

(PS, Rebecca...why'd you sell out? I can't play your song on YouTube anymore and it has simply ruined my weekends.).

For fun, we made some Marymount-themed memes. We hope you enjoy. We also hope you do as Charlie W., one of our new students, did. He sent us the poster on the left, and it's quite possibly the best thing I've ever seen. 

(Warning, heavy lulz after the jump...)

How You Can Benefit From Spring Travel (And Why My Sweater Is All Wet...)

He appears innocent, but you're looking at a tactical pee assassin.

My dog thinks I am an absent father. He is showing all the textbook signs of teenage rebellion--though last I checked human teens don't express their displeasure by relieving themselves on their dad's dry cleaning. I must admit that it's an effective form of inter-species communication, but I'm running out of sweaters...

And it's not just the dog.

The auto-mailer at Facebook seems to be worried that I've died. I keep getting emails asking passive-aggressive questions about why I haven't updated my page recently (I think after two weeks of inactivity they start "poking" your next of kin). The new message light on my office phone is flashing with the urgency of an S.O.S. beacon, my expired list of Outlook reminders is about the length of the fourth Twilight novel (and reads at a similar pace), and my email inbox is stuffed with more time-sensitive information than a government intelligence leak.

It must be travel season. 

Practice Safe Social Networking - 10 Tips for Thwarting Would-Be Facebook Stalkers

We’ve googled you.

We’ve perused your Facebook, too. We’re like a jealous ex. And yes, we do wonder why that girl from your gym keeps posting such flirtatious comments on all of your pictures. You, like, totally know she’s trying to make us jealous.

This is an age of exaggerated self-importance. Sure you can film a video on your phone, post it on a website, and make it accessible to virtually the entire planet (because of course they’ll want to see it). You can invite millions of people into your personal thoughts, your pictures, your memories, your dating life (just where I want to be…in someone else’s failed romance)—and there is no animated good judgment cricket sitting on your shoulder to gently remind you that all of humanity doesn’t need to read your free-verse love poetry. Like reanimating a dead corpse (a la Frankenstein) or making a sequel to Mean Girls (equally horrific): just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should.

Read on for 10 great tips on thwarting would-be Facebook stalkers! 

Preventing the College Break-Up: Three Questions to Ask Before You Commit to an Academic Relationship

You can always tell when students commit to the wrong college. It starts small. Vague feelings that they just don't feel the same way toward the school as they once did. It becomes hard for them to imagine a happy future together with their chosen institution. Their friends will try to convince them that it's just a phase (all but the bitter, angry friend who has been scorned by a bad college experience in the past). "You used to find the school so attractive," the friends will argue. "Remember the happy days when you first got your acceptance letter? It'll be like that again. It just takes patience."

But that day never comes, and the listless, demoralized students will begin to withdraw—inventing halfhearted reasons to avoid the college any chance they can get. They'll begin to spend hours alone on their computer, checking out other schools' admissions profiles on seedy college-ranking sites.

It goes downhill fairly quickly from there. 

Personal Statement Urgent Care Clinic - Part 2

“Orchids, Pansies and daffodils are flowers that bear beautiful scents and make good arrangements. These, have taught me much about people how they are identically different yet still the same too. That they are special and beautiful. Learning, this has allowed me to progress forward with courage and dissidence.”

Above is an excerpt from a personal statement that one of our counselors received. Don’t let this be you! Read on for Part 2 of our Personal Statement Urgent Care Clinic.

Personal Statement Urgent Care Clinic - Part 1

What is a personal statement? It seems to mean different things to different people. To many, it’s a redundant pain in the application. To others, it’s a necessary explication of a full and vibrant life. For far too many, it seems, a “personal statement” is a status update on facebook.

Read on for Part 1 of our Personal Statement Urgent Care Clinic

Admission FAQs Part 2 - Financial Aid

College isn't free, as I'm sure you realize. It's a truism repeated ad nauseam in the admission world, but let me assure you: nothing is quite so acutely agonizing as signing that first tuition check. Personally, I think it's the closest I've ever come to knowing what that guy who cut off his own arm in Utah felt like.

But thankfully there are other options out there for those of us who aren't quite ready to put up a kidney on e-bay.  Read on after the jump to get the answers to some of our most frequently asked financial aid questions--and to find out how to get some of that cash for yourself! 

Admission FAQs Part 1 - Requirements and Deadlines

The admission process can be daunting. Every school has different requirements, different terminology, different dates to remember. No fun at all. We know. As old and decrepit as we might seem, we remember what it was like to apply to college. Personally, my recollection is of a pervasive haze of stuttering panic interspersed with one or two personal statement-induced fugues. 

To make the whole process easier on you, read on after the jump to get all of your pressing admissions questions answered.