Ten Ways To Ensure You Will NEVER Be Admitted To College

http://writing.wikinut.com/img/2188z727cx43bs.l/Rejection-stamp

Do you delight in defeat? Are you a "winner" only as defined by Charlie Sheen? Are you applying to college simply to pile more rejection onto your life-long resume of regret?


If so, this post is for you. 


(If you're one of those do-good-ers who actually wants to attend college, you should probably avoid doing anything on this list. It won't do you any favors.) 


How NOT to be admitted to college, after the jump:

It's Friiiday, Friiiiday, Friiiiday [This Just In: Saturday Comes Next]!

Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun (yeah!)--you know what fun is! Take some time this weekend to have some! Forget the important decisions, like whether to take the front seat or the back seat. Just kick back, relax, and "party" like a tone deaf 13 year-old.

Here's some good news to assuage your worries and ease your troubled mind into weekend mode: we haven't lost your application. If you haven't heard from us yet, it doesn't mean that something is wrong. We're still admitting for fall, we're still giving out financial aid, we're still accepting applications for housing. We have a record number of applications, and we're committed to making sure that each applicant gets the same careful consideration that we've always given in the past. It might take a little longer, but don't worry. You'll hear from us. We promise.

So, now you can breathe a big sigh of relief and start planning your weekend festivities. Read on after the jump for our top ten list of things to do in the Marymount (South Bay) area.