Call Me a Curmudgeon, But Email Etiquette Is Suffering From Stage Four Neglect

Part 1: The Problem

Appreciation of the power of the written (or texted, "tweeted," updated, emailed, or "Skyped") word, and also of the permanency of electronic communication is vital to one's social survival in the 21st century. 


It is also vital to your college admission prospects.


I have received so many egregious abuses of email correspondence from prospective students that I felt compelled to offer some friendly advice. Hopefully it will save you from some embarrassment (and me from developing an ulcer).


Some choice examples can be found at the bottom of this post (or you can skip to "Pt. 2: The Solution" if you already recognize your faults and don't care to read my diatribe).

Ten Ways To Ensure You Will NEVER Be Admitted To College

http://writing.wikinut.com/img/2188z727cx43bs.l/Rejection-stamp

Do you delight in defeat? Are you a "winner" only as defined by Charlie Sheen? Are you applying to college simply to pile more rejection onto your life-long resume of regret?


If so, this post is for you. 


(If you're one of those do-good-ers who actually wants to attend college, you should probably avoid doing anything on this list. It won't do you any favors.) 


How NOT to be admitted to college, after the jump:

How To Get The Most Out Of Your College Search

http://dianasaurdishes.com/02/epic-turkey-pesto-sandwich/

Smell that in the air? It smells like recruitment season (and also, incidentally, a lot like the turkey sandwich I just had for lunch).

Unless you work in the admission office of a college, you probably don't call this time of year recruitment season. In fact, you probably don't call it anything—except maybe, "the time T.V. gets good again," "football season," or, logically, "fall."

Still, you're probably noticing slight changes in your daily routine. Your school is likely being invaded by hordes of peppy admission counselors (like yours truly), your AVID and AP English teachers are probably making you write your seventeenth draft of your personal statements, and your parents are surely starting to get that wide-eyed, "college-is-going-to-cost-what??!?" look.

It's like Christmas, without the presents.

The whole process can be a little daunting. After all, how are you expected to wade through the thousands of colleges out there to pick just one? And, even if you do choose one, how do you know for sure that it's the right fit, especially considering (if you're like the majority of high school seniors) that you're  not even entirely sure what you want to study yet?

We're here to help.

So, you've made the big commitment to us. [Yay!] ...Now what?

image from www.themodernjewler.com

The college admissions process is frighteningly like dating. You, the applicant, scope out some hot prospects to see what they have to offer. There are a lot to choose from. Some may be a bit of a reach, some may be below your personal standards, but when you're playing the admission field it doesn't serve to be too exclusive, right? [Besides, they should already know you're not looking for anything serious yet. It's way too early for that...]

Eventually, when you get a better feel for what's out there, you start "talking" to some of the most attractive prospects. You'll visit a few of them on admission dates. Some will scare you off (stage seven clinger!). Some will sweep your off your feet ("how would you like a scholarship?"). Once you're smitten with a school or two, you ask them out (or, more accurately, ask yourself in). If you're lucky, the feeling is mutual. They'll formally accept your advances and ask if you want to take it to the next level. Then comes the big decision:

Are you ready for serious commitment?

Practice Safe Social Networking - 10 Tips for Thwarting Would-Be Facebook Stalkers

We’ve googled you.

We’ve perused your Facebook, too. We’re like a jealous ex. And yes, we do wonder why that girl from your gym keeps posting such flirtatious comments on all of your pictures. You, like, totally know she’s trying to make us jealous.

This is an age of exaggerated self-importance. Sure you can film a video on your phone, post it on a website, and make it accessible to virtually the entire planet (because of course they’ll want to see it). You can invite millions of people into your personal thoughts, your pictures, your memories, your dating life (just where I want to be…in someone else’s failed romance)—and there is no animated good judgment cricket sitting on your shoulder to gently remind you that all of humanity doesn’t need to read your free-verse love poetry. Like reanimating a dead corpse (a la Frankenstein) or making a sequel to Mean Girls (equally horrific): just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should.

Read on for 10 great tips on thwarting would-be Facebook stalkers!